26 March 2020

App / Streaming Service Review | Disney+


As the peculiar sort of person who likes to curate his own media library, rather than just enjoy someone else’s, I’m a reluctant on/off subscriber to various video-on-demand services. At the moment I have both Amazon Prime Video and Netflix temporarily on the go (as Star Trek: Picard and Better Call Saul are both still dropping new episodes on a weekly basis), while BritBox is likely to remain an ongoing commitment for the foreseeable future as the missus and I continue to explore Britain’s most dangerous county. With Disney+, though, I took the unprecedented step of Forkying out for an annual pass before the platform even went live. A quick crunch of the numbers showed me that I’d be paying just 96p per week for the service, and even looking at the £49.99 pre-order price as a one-off disbursement, it amounts to just a quarter of the cost of the soon-to-be-released Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga 4K UHD box set - and that’s before I factor in the cost of movies for the kids like Frozen II and Onward that I anticipate shelling out for in the next twelve months (having already blown about forty quid on each of them at the cinema). In short, at this price, Disney+ is an absolute steal.


Just take a moment to consider the wealth and depth of proven content on offer here. As things stand, Star Wars fans will find the latest drafts of every movie bar The Rise of Skywalker on here, not to mention three of the franchise’s four canonical spin-off series and the definitive 2004 DVD documentary, Empire of Dreams, finally presented in stunning HD. Almost* thirty seasons of The Simpsons – a staggering 678 episodes, of which I’ve probably only seen about a third – find themselves competing with most of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s theatrical releases (the record-breaking blockbuster Avengers: Endgame amongst them) as well as a handful of the (non-Netflix, non-Prime) spin-off TV shows, including the dazzling Agent Carter, which has been my most pleasing discovery on the service so far. As expected, Disney’s flagship library of animated classics and Pixar productions is also available on demand. Even if, like us, you already own much of this content, your kids will probably delight in sifting through the library to unearth hidden gems like the various Toy Story Toons (the all-new exclusive Lamp Life is a cracker); the later seasons of Sofia the First; and the Tangled TV series, all of which are difficult – if not impossible – to get hold of legally in the UK.


Above: Disney+ on an iPhone
Better still, in addition to welcome surprises from classics like the Macauley Culkin Home Alone movies and Mrs Doubtfire, Disney’s recent acquisition of Twentieth Century Fox means that many of the X-Men movies can also be found under the “Marvel” tab along with their popular animated series and, indeed, Spider-Man’s, amongst many others. Sadly the webslinger’s stand-alone MCU movies are nowhere to be found on the service, though this is both unsurprising and even forgiveable given the tortuous complexity of the relationship between Marvel and Sony. We’re lucky to have an MCU Spider-Man at all.

The streaming quality is also top-notch, with many of the movies presented in 4K HDR – some for the first time, and many with 5.1 - 7.1 surround sound mixes. Unlike some of their competitors (here’s looking at you, Prime), Disney+ also allows you to download any of its content to mobile devices, and at a level of quality that far exceeds any of their rivals. On the highest quality setting, a 22-minute episode of The Simpsons weighs in at a hefty 725MB, although, crucially for those whose devices are running low on storage, the range of settings can reduce this to a Prime-like low of 142MB. Moreover, four-screens-at-once is the platform’s standard - there are no Netflix-style “basic” plans. As Lenny Henry would probably say if they got him on board, everything’s premium but the price. At least at launch, you have just two payment choices: £5.99 per month, or £59.99 per year. The service itself remains the same whichever you choose.


Nonetheless, in keeping with the bleakness of the times, my initial reaction to Disney+ has been one of intense disappointment – almost to the extent of feeling that I’ve been had. Even when faced with such an abundance of riches, my inclination is always to look for what’s missing, and even the most cursory of searches was quick to reveal that UK subscribers have been shortchanged with a diluted version of what is available Stateside and in other territories. In my case, half the stuff that I signed up to watch is absent. The first thing that I searched for – Frozen II – is unavailable until July, despite being made available early in other territories to raise the spirits of those self-isolating due to the COVID-19 outbreak. The last time that I checked – and, believe me, I stare longingly at those invisible bars in the window often – the UK was in lockdown too.

Above: Inexplicably missing in action - Kazuda Xiono and company

Another devastating omission is Star Wars: Resistance, which has yet to even be released digitally in the UK, let alone get a Blu-ray release, while Disney+ manages the impressive feat of having every single episode of Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD available to stream – except those that I haven’t seen yet. I had even hoped that, given the Twentieth Century Fox buyout, more adult-oriented shows the likes of 24 and The X-Files would have found their way onto the service but, alas, The Simpsons is about as edgy as it gets – at least for now.


However, to even get to the stage of even being able to search for something to watch, I had to log in, which was easier said than done on the Samsung TV app as it omits the £ character from its keyboard. This is all fine and good – unless your password happens to have a quid in it. Fortunately, the Siri-controlled Apple TV app had the decency to let me enter my (since changed) password, and unlike the Samsung app, it is buoyed by some lovely animation effects when highlighting any of landing screen’s showcase tabs (Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars etc). As expected, though, the device’s double-tap zoom function has been overridden, meaning that you can only view content in its intended aspect ratio (or in the case of The Simpsons’ first twenty and a half seasons, a retrospectively cropped one), which is rarely one that matches the shape of your TV. Both flagship Star Wars shows – The Mandalorian and Star Wars: The Clone Wars – are presented in 2.35:1 or something very close to it. Most viewers won’t care, and, to be fair, even I like to watch Star Wars TV shows in their native widescreen (as it gives the illusion of that distinct yet unquantifiable Star Wars experience), but I’m a still champion of choice and customisation, and not having the ability to blow up “Baby Yoda” irks me no end.


By far the most annoying feature of the platform though is its refusal to adopt the Netflix-style nosedive into the next episode of a TV series. Again, this doesn’t bother me when I’m watching – I actually really enjoy watching The Mandalorian’s gorgeous closing titles – but it does affect me in that, if my three-year-old watches an episode of LEGO Frozen: Northern Lights, she then has to sit through not only its end credits, but also various foreign languages credits that roll silently, which together amount to almost the length of the episode again. It’s perhaps an exaggeration to say that the whole point of Disney+ is to parent your children for you, but when I’m trying to work remotely it really would help if I could leave the room for more than five minutes at a time.

Above: Disney+ on an iPad

As I’m in it for the long haul with Disney+, the decision to hold back episodes of The Mandalorian and The Clone Wars to drop weekly doesn’t enrage me as much as it would were I up to my usual hit-and-run antics. Again though, I lament the lack of control – provide the damned content and let us decide how to consume it for ourselves, please. As someone who much prefers to binge-watch a series and then move onto the next, Disney+’s ’90s-style approach to content distribution is wreaking absolute havoc with my viewing habits. It’s not easy flitting between Saul, Picard and two different eras of Star Wars.

Above: Disney allow American families some fun and joy during this challenging period, but obviously not their insignificant UK customers

I should have been going to Disneyland this coming weekend but, instead, I’m delving into Disney’s vast multimedia archive with children aged three and eight. Whilst not what we’d planned, it’s at least taken the edge off what will no doubt prove to be the first of 2020’s many blows. Far from exhaustive and far from perfect, Disney+’s vast library of proven titles nonetheless leaves it second only to Netflix in the pantheon of streaming giants. For day one, that’s not a bad result, but Disney+ must still do much better for UK subscribers if they intend to keep them.

Click here to start your seven-day free trial. Prices afterwards are as described above.  

* The brilliant Season 3 premiere, “Stark Raving Dad” is not available.

21 March 2020

TV Review | Doctor Who: “Ascension of the Cybermen” & “The Timeless Children” by Chris Chibnall


There are two sides to this year’s spectacular and subversive Doctor Who season finale, as betrayed by writer Chris Chibnall’s reversion to individual episode titles. “Ascension of the Cybermen” is a slick and sinister Cyber-story the like of which we haven’t seen since Earthshock, while “The Timeless Children” is a conceptually grand but ultimately intimate exploration of the Doctor’s mysterious past and how it has shaped her relationship with her best enemy. Each storyline is, in of itself, deserving of a season-finale slot. Together, though, the resultant mess becomes somehow less than the sum of its incredible parts.

“The Cybermen were defeated. The victors of a billion battles broken. But that which is dead can live again – in the hands of a believer.” 


Since their debut on the eve of the series’ first regeneration, the Cybermen have, more often than not, been portrayed as a spent force. Until very recently, one greyscale invasion and an upstaged army of ghosts were the closest that we’d come to seeing them at the height of their powers, yet all the while whispers of famed but distant Cyber Wars fired viewers’ imaginations. “Ascension of the Cybermen”, in contrast, is a long overdue love letter to every fan who endured Revenge of the Cybermen purely on the strength of its talk of glories past. Striking a perfect balance between brazen fan service and the breaking of new ground, this season’s penultimate episode finally delivers the sort of dominant Cyber-race that has only ever really lived in our minds’ eyes. It does so, though, in the most improbable of ways as this resurgent Cyber-force’s leader is a terrifying zealot who rages against his own biological existence as vehemently as he does his enemies’.


“A Cyberman that makes other Cybermen scream,” Ashad is one of the series’ most imposing antagonists in recent memory. Indeed, the so-called Lone Cyberman seems to have the same sort of potential as Davros, the creator of the Daleks, with whom he has so much in common. The anger and passion that fuel Ashad are the very un-Cyberman-like qualities that he seeks to purge, and his apparent insight into this incongruity only makes him even more unhinged. Patrick O’Kane is relentlessly intense in his portrayal of the half-man, half-Cyberman; every line that he delivers is dripping with liquid metal angst that blows last season’s de facto big bad - fellow big shouty dude Tim Shaw - out of the water.


It helps, of course, that Ashad is not the “Lone Cyberman” anymore – in fact, he’s backed up by the sort of season-finale-ordinance poor old Tim Shaw could only dream of. The Cyber-drones – essentially flying, shooty Cyber-heads – work surprisingly excellently, while the beautifully designed Cyber-shuttles and Cyber-carriers finally give the Cybermen a consistent and appropriately functional aesthetic. The unexpected return of the sixth-season Cybermen, rebranded as “Cyber-warriors” here in the Doctor Who equivalent of Star Trek: Enterprise’s Klingon forehead retcon, is also a particularly lovely treat for seasoned viewers, not to mention a testament to the quality of The Invasion Cybermen’s basic design. Best of all though, director Jamie Magnus Stone uses these extraordinary gifts of the script to present a fittingly bleak and unremittingly exciting visual and auditory experience that’s capable of holding its own against many fully-fledged features.


However, “Ascension of the Cybermen” causes as many continuity conundrums as it solves, and worse still it is undermined by its subservience to “The Timeless Children”, which compromises both its structure and its integrity. Chibnall’s fan-pleasing attempts to unify the classic series’ Cybermen with their modern counterparts are blighted by comparatively easy-to-avoid gaffes about gold, outward inconsistencies with much more recent adventures and even a peculiarly protective Doctor. The latter is, perhaps, justifiable, given Bill’s fate in “World Enough and Time”, but what happened to the Doctor’s previous companion isn’t even hinted at, let alone acknowledged, leaving many viewers to ponder why the Doctor is behaving so out of character.



Even more jarringly, the need to divide the story into two neat parts for transmission leaves “Ascension of the Cybermen” carrying the entirety of the two-parter’s dreamlike flashbacks. This ill-fitting Irish sub-plot never intersects with the main action at all, and as such viewers are more likely to infer a connection between Ashad and Brendan the policeman, the thread’s seemingly immortal protagonist, than they are to grasp the truth of it. Rather than build suspense, this only serves to make the Lone Cyberman’s unsatisfyingly stunted end in “The Timeless Children” even more disappointing - the audience is left lamenting the closing down of possibilities both going forward and flashing back. By the time that “The Timeless Children” finally does address the question of these Brendan “glitches”, the audience needs a clip or two to (a) remind them of him; and (b) make it plain that the Doctor was also experiencing what we were at home, which was far from clear in “Ascension of the Cybermen”. Watching the two episodes back-to-back doesn’t even help matters, as this garda plotline peaks far too early in the overall narrative. The whole affair would have flowed more naturally had these segments been spread out across the two parts, reaching their climax a scene or two prior to the Master’s “Timeless Children” bombshell.

“Be afraid, Doctor, because everything is about to change. Forever.”

But with a running time that eclipses those of most of the series’ festive specials, “The Timeless Children” is already full to bursting. In what feels like an over-the-top apology for not providing the audience with a proper finale in 2018, here Chibnall delivers a scintillating climax that doesn’t just pay off a season’s worth of build-up, or even two seasons’ worth, but follows through on an alluring idea that has been bubbling away in the background since the dying days of the series’ original run, if not the early Tom Baker years. Chibnall’s byzantine tale blows Gallifreyan history wide open, not to mention what little we know of the Doctor’s own personal history, and as if that weren’t enough it takes the Cybermen and turns them into the new lords of time – pomp and all. The image of a Cyberman, decked out in customary high-collared Time Lord regalia, regenerating, is one that will endure for decades to come. “The Timeless Children” is thus a rare example of television capable of keeping you perched uncomfortably on the edge of your seat for over an hour, fists clenched and heart in your mouth as its unyielding precision of powerful imagery and game-changing revelations hold you rapt – whether you like them or not.


Having spent almost sixty years with the Doctor, the Who in Doctor Who has long since lost its lustre; even the retrospective insertion of John Hurt’s time warrior between the supposed eighth and ninth Doctors only served to lift the veil on the once beautifully shadowy Time War. Yet in the late 1980s, when producer John Nathan-Turner and script editor Andrew Cartmel decided to imbue Sylvester McCoy’s Doctor with the mystery that had, by that time, been lost in a precession of Gallifreyan runarounds and meetings with the Doctor’s old mentors and school chums, they did so by ingeniously hinting at a time before the Doctor became the Doctor – a life back in the Dark Times, the so-called Time of Chaos, before Omega’s supernova and Rassilon’s tyranny. The series’ cancellation unfortunately killed this promising arc before it ever really got moving, though Virgin’s long-running range of New Adventures novels did run with it to what felt like its natural conclusion in Marc Platt’s seminal Lungbarrow, in which the idea of this ‘Other’ Doctor finally crystallised.


In many respects, “The Timeless Children” goes ever further than even Lungbarrow dared to. Here, not only does Chibnall posit that the Doctor lived at least eight lifetimes prior to the childhood that she remembers, but he also has the Master claim that she was the biological key that turned the ancient Gallifreyans into lords of time. Far from being the child of Gallifrey that she’s always believed herself to be, here the Doctor discovers that she was in fact discovered aeons ago by Tecteun, a Shobogan explorer, who, upon discovering her ability to renew her physical form when mortally wounded, studied her and eventually learned how to graft her unnatural abilities onto Gallifreyan DNA. As Omega’s time travel experiments gave the Shobogans mastery over time, Tecteun’s discoveries offered them near immortality through bodily regeneration. Chibnall doesn’t merely cast the Doctor as the third shadowy member of an ancient Gallifreyan ruling triumvirate, then – he has her as the mother of all Time Lords. Suddenly, questions on everything from the Doctor’s past deeds to her very origins burn as hot as they ever did. For the first time in fifty years, even the Doctor’s species is couched in mystery, tempting to viewers to re-evaluate everything they know about the Time Lord – or thought they knew. Could the Doctor be half-human as the eighth Doctor once claimed? Just whose granddaughter is Susan – the Doctor’s, or one of her forgotten pre-Doctor selves?


Crucially, Chibnall’s story works hard to preserve the intrigue that it creates. Perhaps its greatest strength is in how deals with the circumstances concerning the Timeless Child’s rebirth as the first Doctor – or, rather, how it doesn’t. All “The Timeless Children” tells us is that the Timeless Child was eventually inducted into a clandestine Time Lord organisation referred to as “the Division” - a devilishly clever name that speaks as much to the line between the Timeless Child and the Doctor as much as it does this secret agency in which the would-be Doctor apparently found herself employed. With all details of the Division redacted from the Matrix, and the Time Lords and their Citadel in ruins, the mystery of the Doctor is once again aflame – at least for now.



As pleased as I was to see Jo Martin reprise her Doctor from “Fugitive of the Judoon”, its purpose was plainly to remind us of both her existence and her apparent work for a covert Time Lord agency. Moreover, Chibnall has openly spoken about having sown the seeds of his third season in this current run, and so if he isn’t building towards a big “Doctors vs Division” angle next season, I’ll be damned. I’ll reserve judgement until I see it play out, of course, but from this vantage point I can’t really see how such a storyline could do anything but degrade the mysteries that this season has so carefully cultivated, in the process probably saddling us with an awkward-to-explain incarnation who zips about space and time in a police box-shaped TARDIS (long before it ever got stuck in that shape) and calls herself the Doctor (without ever living up to the promise). I don’t know about you, but I’m in love with Matt Smith’s speech in “The Name of the Doctor” about how the name you choose is like a promise you make and, clearly, any “Doctor” employed by the Division is not worthy of the title. Martin’s Doctor would be better left unexplained, allowing those of us who like to imagine her as a reluctant post-Troughton, pre-Pertwee CIA operative to do so, while still leaving the issue ambiguous for those untroubled by such finicky concepts as TARDIS camouflage and nominative determinism.


Of course, as epic and as astonishing as “The Timeless Children”’s infodump is, in the end it is really just the preamble for this episode’s events. Chibnall’s story is as much about the Master’s present as it is the Doctor’s past, and Sacha Dhawan never lets you forget it. The Doctor’s oldest adversary has always had a flair for the dramatic and penchant for anarchy, but it’s rare to see him vested with the purpose that he is here. It’s as if his discoveries have vindicated his hatred for his old nemesis – he’s at once delighted and tormented, scheming and suicidal; torn between a desire to survive and conquer, and an impossible-to-resist impulse to just burn it all down. More than anything else, the Master has always been a self-serving creature – “Survival. It’s what he lives for,” Sylvester McCoy once purred – and so to see him genuinely disinterested in the continuation of his own existence is tremendously sobering, and more than a little disturbing. For me, it sums up the magnitude of his attachment to the Doctor far more brilliantly than even Missy’s redemption arc did.


Jodie Whittaker is Dhawan’s equal throughout, bringing unprecedented gravity to her performance as the show builds towards its most triumphant moment since “The Day of the Doctor”. In a move redolent of the final Star Wars movie, Segun Akinola breaks all the rules as he lets the series’ signature theme soar in the main body of an episode as the Doctor broadcasts her memories to break out of the Matrix. To all of those hung up on no longer being able to call the Doctor’s incarnations by numbers long since rendered redundant (I’m really going to have to start capitalising them as they’ve become names in their own right), I’d urge them to watch this scene: the whole point of it, of the whole episode in fact, is that it doesn’t matter who the Doctor was or where she came from. All that matters is who she is, what she believes in and what she does. All we ever have is now.


Up against such staggering performances, you could be forgiven for expecting this story’s supporting players to be lost in the background but, to the credit of both the actors and the script, their characters shine almost as brightly as the two sharing centre stage. Game of Thrones veteran Ian McElhinney is particularly effective as the portal’s ferryman, Ko Sharmus, who, in contrast to his quasi-biblical countenance, twinkles with amiable mischief throughout. Meanwhile, Bradley Walsh and Mandip Gill are every bit as impressive as Graham and Yas. This two-parter finally sees the two companions shine as they prove to the Doctor, and to themselves, that they can do it all without her. Happily though, Chibnall stops short of pairing off Graham with Julie Graham’s Ravio – the fam might be left behind, but we’ve certainly not seen the last of them.


You’ve got to admire a showrunner who’s prepared to be as bold as his 1960s predecessors. As the series’ fiftieth anniversary loomed large, while many of us sweated about a twelfth white man throwing out the precious numbering of the Doctor’s incarnations, Chibnall was dreaming up multitudes that we wouldn’t have ever conceived of. A brief sequence in “The Timeless Children” sees the Doctor go through more regenerations than in the series’ initial twenty-six-year run, and believe it or not, these are just a prelude to the story’s real twist. Inevitably, many won’t be able to accept what’s been done to the history of the Doctor; many more in the audience won’t even be able to fathom it. Some won’t even care. Some of us, though, have been waiting for a shot in the arm like this for decades. As a two-part tale, “Ascension of the Cybermen” and “The Timeless Children” is an awkward melting pot of ideas that’s more Rise of Skywalker than it is Lungbarrow, but it’s nonetheless the best thing that’s happened to the series since John Hurt showed up attempting to justify genocide in that lovely, gravelly voice of his. The status quo might have been changed, but we should always remember that in Doctor Who, there’s no such thing. 

Doctor Who is available to stream for the foreseeable future on BBC iPlayer. A season pass comprising all ten episodes of the season in 1080p HD and bonus material is also available from iTunes for £20.99, with episodes typically becoming available the day after their transmission on BBC 1. A Blu-ray steelbook, which will also include the special “Resolution”, is also available to pre-order from Amazon for £49.99.



http://www.doctorwhoreviews.altervista.org/Cyberman.htm
Available to download for £7.96 here.

http://www.doctorwhoreviews.altervista.org/Cyberman%202.htm
Available to download for £14.99 here.
Alternatively, a box set of both series is available to download for £19.99 here.

http://www.doctorwhoreviews.altervista.org/NA60.htm
Available to read for free here (with a lot of clicking) on this cached BBCi website. Paperback copies are frequently sold on eBay to those willing to fund their purchase through remortgaging.